This weekend we set out for a trip to the beach. The beach taught me a lot about motherhood.
There were good motherhood moments, like taking my daughter into the ocean and lifting her over big waves as they crashed around her legs. She was loving it, laughing and smiling, repeating “boom, crash!” as each wave engulfed her lower body. She was brave, and it made my heart burst with pride.
And then a big wave came and I was not prepared, it splashed up into her face and hair and left her in tears.
So we headed to the beach where we built sandcastles together. We walked to the water countless times to fill our bucket with water so the sand would come together, we shoveled together, we packed the sand down together, and I heard my daughter say, good job mama as I flipped the bucket to reveal the product of our labors. We collected seashells on the beach to decorate our creations. It was so fun to discover and explore this new experience with her.
And then she ate a lot of sand.
We went on a lovely walk on the boardwalk, ocean views on one side, kites flying on the beach, a cool breeze, and so much to see.
And then my daughter declared she needed to use the potty, so we sped walked to the nearest bathroom, which was loud, scary, and kind of gross. She hated every moment and I wondered why I potty trained her. We made it out alive, but just barely.
Like the tide rises and lowers each day, my motherhood ebbs and flows. Some moments are perfect and beautiful, others are stressful and difficult. Each day I feel like a really good mother, and then I lose my patience. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, but it fills my heart. At the end of the day when my daughter asks me to hold her hand while she falls asleep, the ups and downs smooth, and I remember the blessing of motherhood that is mine.