A Billion Trees

This last weekend I went to the summer home of my childhood, a lovely lake in the southwestern corner of Montana, surround by beautiful Montana forests and just a few miles outside of the West Entrance to Yellowstone National Park. I hadn’t really experienced it in the Fall, so this experience was especially filled with wonder. The trees were gorgeous, many changing colors, some topped with a light layer of snow, and others pines looking just like they did in my childhood days.

I am not sure why I felt as I did while visiting this familiar place, but I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude for the individual trees, which together created the gorgeous forest where shadows of my childhood live. Each tree felt important to me, each one had a unique beauty. The ones that changed color with the seasons added splashes of red, yellow, and orange to a sea of greens and blues. The ones toward the tops of the mountains that were glazed with white reminded me of the beautiful season to come. And the pines that I so love had such great variety. The new ones were small and perfect. The older one tall with signs of disease, or imperfections.

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This weekend I was in a place where a billion trees, standing strong in their own place, came together to create a beautiful forest. A forest that has enriched my life, a place where I feel closer to heaven and gratitude for this beautiful life.

Friendship Lessons

The other day I took my daughter to one of my high school friends house for a little playdate. My friend has a boy just a few months younger than my daughter, and I thought they might have a good time with each other. We arrived, and after a few moments of uncertainty my daughter began to make herself feel at home. She played out back while lunch was being prepared, and after eating a few bites she wanted to go play some more. The kids found two toy cars and spent the next while racing them around the table. When they got tired of that they got cozy on the couch looking at a book together. I am pretty sure there was some jumping off the furniture going on at one point. They were having a great time together and were fast friends. Then we left.

That night I went to a church activity. Everyone asked if I was new and how long I was planning on living in the ward. I replied that we would most likely be moving in about three months. Although everyone was super nice and welcoming, I always get the sense that if you are not in a place for the long haul, maybe it is not worth the time and investment to become friends. Then we left.

I have been pondering on both of these experiences that happened. I love how kids are so present in the moment, and just enjoy what it has to offer to the fullest degree while they are in it. My daughter didn’t ask me if we would ever be going back to play with this little boy, she didn’t worry about investing in a friend that she might not ever see again. I didn’t see any exchange between the little kids wondering how long they would be playing together and then deciding on whether or not they would actually enjoy playing together. No they allowed themselves to be friends, enjoying whatever time they got.

As an adult I have struggled with what kids so easily do. When I am with others, it is hard to just enjoy the time and experience because I am unwilling to invest myself in something that might just last for a moment. I feel it from others too. It is something I really feel like I need to work on because I truly believe we need each other. I know we want to come off as having everything under control and being able to do it all on our own, but even if we do have everything under control and we are able to do it all on our own, life is just not as sweet as when we have others on our side.

I’ll be the first to admit it. I need a friend. I need someone to talk about motherhood with. I need someone to sit by in church. I need someone to share ideas about the world, the meaning of life, and the deeper questions I wrestle with. I need someone to call when I am not sure what to do.

Sure, I am fine just sitting at home playing with my daughter all day. I have spent many days in church by myself, it’s not the end of the world. I can just enjoy the wrestle with the questions I have. And google will always tell me what to do. But my life is just enriched when I fill it with other people, people who are willing to open up a bit and need me too, even if it is just for an hour of time we spend together.

I hope as I try to open up to the world, I will find that the world is willing to open up to me too. Let us not forget that we need each other.

The Beauty of Mother Earth

This past Saturday was the perfect day to take a quick drive to nature. It was cool, but there was still enough warmth from the suns rays to enjoy the outdoors. We went to a beautiful waterfall not too far from our home called Mesa Falls.

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I wish I had words to describe my love for Mother Earth and the beauty she holds. I feel like I am at a season of my life where my relationship with Mother Earth is becoming more sacred. All that we are and have, all that keeps us alive and well, we own to her. She is alive and divine. Like a mother she gives all that she is and all that she has for the well-being of us who live on her beauty.

I really love reading about the American Indians relationship with Mother Earth. They so respected her, and so much of their spirituality had a connection to the earth. I was recently reading in a book called “Mother Earth Spirituality” when this passage really struck me.

“Every part of the earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods… Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web he does to himself.

The earth is precious to God and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its Creator.”

Mother Earth Spirituality – A Letter of Chief Seathl to Franklin Pierce 1854

I wish we though that way today. I wish we lived in accordance to this truth. I wish I did better to respect Mother Earth, to live in a manner that was more in harmony with nature.

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Being in nature reminds me of my sacred duty to care better for the Earth. This trip to Mesa Falls was no exception. Glorious Mother Earth is worth every sacrifice we make to take care of her. May we each do our part on our strand of the web of life to care for the precious Earth God loves and created for us.

The Word of Wisdom

Besides a cross country move for a new job we have experienced a few other life changes recently. One of which is our choice of nourishment. I thought I would write a bit about this change since it has been quite the experience.

This summer, before we knew we were going to move across the country, we planned a cross country road trip for a big family reunion in Montana. In preparation for the 70 + hours we would be in the car, I checked out a few books from the library. I don’t remember how I ended up with the books that I did, but when we left I had The China Study, Forks Over Knives, and How Not To Die. I don’t think I even knew anything about the books, but on the drive I read all about a Whole Food Plant Based diet for the first time. I was so skeptical about the whole thing, thought it might be interesting to try, but didn’t really think it would change me all that much.

On the drive home I decided to see if there was anything about Mormon Vegans, and found a series of articles Jane Birch had written for Meridian Magazine. This lead me to her site Discovering the Word of Wisdom. During those quiet moments learning about the Word of Wisdom in the car, I felt a deep impression, this is how you need to eat. It was so clear that we changed our way of eating almost instantly, and we really haven’t looked back.

So many times while sitting in a church class the following quote has come into the lesson.

“True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”

-Boyd K. Packer

I love the quote, but until I started studying the Word of Wisdom, I had never truly experienced true doctrine changing my behavior. In my continuous study of the Word of Wisdom, this quote has come to mind time and time again. The change to a more Whole Food Plant Based Diet has been simple because I have come to more fully understand the doctrine of the Word of Wisdom, and with that understanding, my behavior has changed accordingly.

I knew it would be challenging, especially the social aspect of eating Whole Food Plant Based. Basically everyone I knew and associated with ate meat, dairy, eggs and oil as the main part of their diet, hey three days before that was the main part of my meals. But I felt that it was right for me and my family, and a whole food plant based diet continued to be our reality.

Fast forward a few weeks and we moved in with my parents as we try to sell our home in Maryland, so I knew we would be having dinner together every night. Since everyone else works and I would be making meals for our family anyway, I invited my parents to eat with us. After a few weeks of meals my mom recently noted that “we hadn’t had anything weird yet.”

So we will continue to eat herbs, fruit, and all the lovely grains. I will eat meat sparingly and truly save it for times of winter, cold, and famine. I will do my best to eat with prudence and thanksgiving.

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Delicious, colorful plants. I have learned to love them!

If you want to learn more about the Word of Wisdom, you can study it here. I also recommend checking out Jane Birch’s website Discovering the Word of Wisdom. I will continue to document this journey for our family and would love to hear your experiences of making the change to a Whole Food Plant Based Diet.

The Winds of Change

At this moment I am sitting in Idaho, our new home. A recent change has taken us over a 1000 miles from our home in Maryland, and brought me back to my roots. Over the last five years of being married, I feel like Daniel and I have had a Chocolat kind of experience. Have you seen the movie? A women and her daughter open a chocolate shop in a little village and by so doing, change the people. Once they have fulfilled their purpose of that season in their lives, the winds blow and they move to the next village. Eventually they choose to stay in a particular French village, despite the winds blowing them to their next destination.

Since the our beginning 5 years ago we have lived in 4 states, two in the Mountain West and two on the east coast. We have never been in any home for two years. We have had a purpose in each place, and fulfilled it.

We thought we would stay in Maryland for a while. But around February I had a distinct feeling that we needed to make our way back to Idaho, and with a bit of divine guidance, we made it to our windy new home.

Each time we go outside, and the wind blows, I think about that feeling, that deep knowing that we needed to make the change, that the winds of the universe blew us to this place, to build our life here, to build our home here.

We are loving our new Idahome.

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Spaghetti Squash

The other day I was baking a spaghetti squash in the middle of the day for a casserole I was making that night. As it was baking and playing with my daughter she decided to say “I don’t want spaghetti squash right now.” I told her she did not need to eat the spaghetti squash and I would set aside some dinner sans spaghetti squash so she didn’t need to worry. She was still pretty concerned about the whole spaghetti squash thing and couldn’t let it go. No matter what I told her she spent a few minutes worried about the possibility of having spaghetti squash at some future time. I wanted to just tell her that she didn’t have any need to worry, I was not going to feed her spaghetti squash, so she was worrying about absolutely nothing. I also want to tell her that even if I did feed her spaghetti squash it wouldn’t be for a long time so she really didn’t need to worry about it right now. I also wanted her to understand that if I did serve her spaghetti squash, it would be because spaghetti squash has nutrients inside of it that help our bodies stay strong and capable, and so even though spaghetti squash is not her favorite thing, it would truly be good for her.

And then I thought about me. How much I worry about things that may or may not happen in a future date. Things I don’t need to worry about – one, because they may never happen, two, because if they do I really don’t need to worry about until they happen, and three because I have faith that God has a hand in my life and all things that do happen in my life will be good for me. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and as a child of God I sometimes struggle in the same way my daughter struggles with things in her life.

When I struggle it is hard for me because I feel like should know better, and do better, that I should not succumb to worry or fear. Then I remember how I feel about my daughter, I wish so much that she would not worry because of all the things I know, but she doesn’t understand. I recognize that she does not have the understanding I do, and even though she is having a hard time when she really doesn’t need to, what I do is just love her through the struggle. And I believe that is what Heavenly Father does for me. Sometimes I think He loses patience with me, but I believe the truth is that, no matter how I struggle, He is always just willing to love me through everything.

Thank goodness for that truth.

S L O W

I have been feeling it in my heart, “slow down” it speaks again and again.

Slow. I do not do slow. Slow is emptiness and quietness and stillness and I am not sure what to do with myself but just be-ness. I don’t like to feel empty, or quiet, or still, and I really love to know what I can do with myself, I like to keep my hands and mind busy, and occupied.

But it keeps coming back- “slow down.” Invite in some empty, quiet, still, times. Just be.

And I have tried, and keep trying. I worry about what I will have to give up or miss if I live in the slowness. What will be left undone or incomplete. I don’t want to leave things incomplete. Incomplete=Failure.

Maybe failure is not = incompleteness. Maybe failure is completing things when you feel a pull to live differently and let go.

The invitation to slow has been coming for a long time, and I have tried and tried to slow down, and slowing down has been a slow process. Giving up a little at a time so I could have more room to slow, but I am finally feeling the peace and joy of slowing down and setting aside.

Some things have become so much more important. Conversations with my husband before bed, sitting around the table as a family as I prepare an evening meal, setting the table together, eating slowly with more intention and joy, and always at the insistence of my little one we play a game. Quiet mornings rocking my baby who has been waking up far too early, and just being with her. Listening to her breath and cuddling in the dark stillness. Reading my scriptures and really pondering the Book of Mormon. Making time to go to the temple where I feel the ultimate sense of peace and slow. Being with the people I love, being in the day I am in. Slowing down means experiencing.

Some things have become so much less important. Phones, social media, trying to fill every hour of the day with something whether it be noise or activity.

So I am practicing slow.

Today it was lovely enough outside to walk to the library. It would have been too cold in the fall, but my desperate need for sunshine in the winter made me brave. My daughter insisted on having ponies in her hair today so I put two little buns on top of her head. One immediately became lop-sided when we left the house but they were so cute, and I love being able to see her face, happy and bright. She pointed out dogs and pinecones to me as we walked. It was slow and quiet, and so beautiful and rich.

Slow might just be good for my soul.

Slow_MalloryHazel

Teaching My Toddler | The Letter N

N is for nest, night, and ninja. It has been a little hard to keep up with teaching my little one the past few weeks, but hopefully we can get back to work, I love watching her learn and her excitement about all the letters is so fun!

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The Letter N Booklist

The Night World by Mordicai Gerstein- I really enjoyed this beautiful book about what the world looks like at night just before the sun illuminates it. And when the sun comes out the colors are beautiful.

Ninja by Arree Chung- This is a cute story about a brother that dresses up and becomes and ninja and he sneaks through the house to obtain some cookies and milk. It is a fun book.

Once Upon a Northern Night by Jean E. Pendziwol- This book is really beautiful. The words are lovely and paint a beautiful picture and the illustrations are perfect for the book.

The Letter N Printables

This week we have The Letter N Notecard and The Letter N Do-a-Dot.

The Letter N Activity

This week for our activity we made a little night scene. One piece of black paper and hand cut stars and a moon made a perfect little activity for my two year old to paste together.

 

January 2017 Reading List | What I’m Reading

I really love reading. Non-fiction is probably what I read the most. Well children’s books are actually what I read the most, but when I am reading just for me, I read a lot of non-fiction. Which is fine, but lately I wanted to go back to the realm of stories, told just for fun, or to send a message, stories that are more light-hearted and just a joy to read. Stories that teach lessons through the medium of storytelling. We will see how I do with that goal in 2017, but I wanted to at least write down some of my favorite books I am reading each month and how I liked them.

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Girl in the Blue Coat – Set during WWII this story is a mystery and so thrilling. There were some twists and turns and each chapter made me want to keep reading to solve the big mystery and all the small mysteries that were within it. After reading stories about WWII and Nazi Germany I am always a little emotionally exhausted and need something a little more fun, but this book is worth reading if you enjoy history and mystery.

The Crossover – This book is something I would probably never pick up and read, but it won a Newberry and I have been trying to read a few more of those books recently. The whole time I was reading the books I just kept thinking how unique it was and how perfect it would be for boys especially. I really enjoyed the story for myself too, I love when stories can take you on a journey to see the world from a new perspective, and this one did that for me.

In Defense of Food – I have heard a lot about Michael Pollan and his books and so I finally checked this one out. I have been trying to move to real food for me and my family for a while now, but I really loved his common sense outlook and approach. Sometimes I feel like eating healthy has to be extreme or demanding, but I think he does a really good just of keeping it casual and manageable. I also really liked his Food Rules book.

French Kids Eat Everything – Another book that I wanted to read as part of trying to figure out how to feed my family healthfully. I love the way the French approach food. They seem to really understand all aspects of food, the nourishment and pleasure that food can bring, and not in a scientific way, in a very human way. I have been trying to make dinner and all of my meals slower and more intentional as a result of reading this book, and so far it has been a good change for our family.